It’s been a really long long day! I’ve had an excursion  from the University today. We  walked around Vienna the whole day long, almost without any pause or rest. It was really interesting in the beginning. We learned about public spaces and gardens and visited a lot of nice parks and some green yards. After several hours of being constantly introduce to new information, I was really getting overwhelmed. My head started to ache and my skin got so red because of the sunburn that I got. There is a white mark on my neck surrounded by a very red and painful area. Now I’m thinking: should I wear tomorrow the same necklace to cover the white spot or should I choose another one?

This really made me laugh. What a blooper, huh?! In some ironical way the topic today is to write about Diabetes bloopers. I’ve just had one. It has nothing to do with diabetes, but still a blooper, right??

This whole day I have been wondering what I could possibly write today. I’ve  simply had almost no mistakes or bloopers connected with diabetes, because I have always been very thorough about injecting and testing. Maybe because at the beginning I was pretty much afraid of needles and pricking myself at the finger.

But there is one story I could tell. It is not a funny one at all. But still…

So last year I’ve got a trainee program for six months. The people I worked with are very nice, open minded and warm. We’ve had a wonderful time together and I can be only proud that they still want me as a college and offered me a job during the holidays. But let’s focus on the story.

There’s a thing about me – I do not like to tell people about my diabetes. Only my family and my closest friends know about it. I just don’t like telling people maybe because I hate when somebody looks at me with that eyes that tell: “Oh, you poor girl!” And after that I have always to explain that I live pretty normal life; that could eat anything I like, only have to calculate the exact amount of insulin and inject it.

So, again to the story. I  never told my colleges about my diabetes. Sometimes I’ve asked myself if I should do it, but the moment was never right and so I just didn’t mentioned it. It was just my third month with the pump. I’ve managed to bolus each time when I washed my hands so nobody ever saw  me doing it.

Until this day  came along. It started at home as I was changing  the needle. It hurt a little bit when I placed it, but I didn’t pay any attention to it. When I was in the office I felt the vibration alert: No insulin delivery. So I changed the set, gave 0.3 units fixed prime, checked my blood sugar and made a correction. After some hours it was already lunch time. I checked my blood sugar and it was just fine. I bolused for the lunch and sat on the table with the others. Because normally I had a home prepared meal for lunch,  I knew exactly how much to inject. We’ve always had lunch together, and it has always been the funniest time of the day. I loved it, because everybody shared some stories and we had a wonderful time. As I was sitting down (my place was the most difficult to get out of) I felt the vibration alarm again. I knew it was the same error message again. No insulin delivery. So I thought that after lunch I would need to use my insulin pen and I just ignored the alarm and continued eating and laughing. There was a second vibration. I ignored it too. And then the pump started beeping. At the beginning very discreet, but after just a short while there was nobody in the room who hadn’t heard it. I was so embaressed. I said it was my phone beeping, I stood up from the table and went to the facility room, where I took my pen and injected myself with some insulin. Of course I changed the set again. This time it was succesful and everything after that was just fine.

I was so embaressed. I think none of my colleges realized it was not a phone, but my insulin pump. If I had told them right at the beginning it would have been so much easier for me.

So … that’s it. Now when I look back I can still  remember my cheeks blushing and my heart pounding. I wish this would never happen again.

Now I have to go and take care of my sunburn. Let’s see what blooper tomorrow will present me with.

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Dear  Pancreas,

I’ve always wanted to ask you:

– What happened 4 years ago?
– Was I bad with you?
– Didn’t  I treat  you right?
– Didn’t it feel nice to be in my body?

I’ve always tried to keep  my body healthy, so please be honest: Why?

Was it a surprise for my birthday? Was this my birthday gift?  I know it is not a joke – if it was one, it would have happened  on 1st of april perhaps  and in some extremely cynical way I could’ve understood it. But in summer? The best time of the year???

Do you know how bad I feel sometimes? Do you know how sad I am?

Thank God I’m surrounded by people who really love me and care about me. There is my wonderful family, who was always supportive and gave me strength not to give up.  There are also my friends. My true friends.  Even though they do not know how much it takes to try to be “normal”  again, they felt that it’s not important to know always what to say, but to be there for you without telling a word. I love you all, guys!!! And there is one very important person in my life who still loves me, supports me and wants to be with me. Every time when I look into his eyes I see only love and understanding, warm tenderness.  I know sometimes it’s not that easy to be with me – but thank you for standing all this  time with me!

So dear Pancreas,

Can you  please tell me why? What do I have to do to make you function normally again ?

If  only you could speak and explain… You know I’m trying to make things right. And I’ll never quit  trying. I’m just not this kind of person, I’m a fighter. A very open minded, friendly and smiling fighter!

Do you think there will be a happy ending? I  trully believe that soon I’ll have my answers on all those questions.

I have only one favour to ask  from you: Please, let us  work  together  for a better life! We have to play on the same team, we have to be on the same side! And togeher it would be  much easier.

I love you and I’ll always take care of you.

Sincerely yours

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

So … although I’ve been blogging only for a month, I would like to join this wonderful event! The idea is that bloggers sign up to post about a set topic each day for a week.

Since I was diagnosed I started reading many books about diabetes , but  honestly  there was nothing more helpful  to me than the stories and posts from other diabetics or people somehow related to diabetes. I’ve found so many answers and so many different points of view. Because everyone tries to manage with his condition in his own way, each experience is unique . And that’s what makes it great. I’ve learned so many things! And  most importantly – when I read how people  were battling with the disease and trying to manage  with  their condition,  I felt their positive attitude and this gave me the encouragement and inspiration to  go on and keep trying even harder.

I cannot explain how important for me all those posts and shared information are. They’re helping me understand  a lot  about myself and my condition.

We are all different …  That’s what makes us unique! But there are  certain things, which we all want and desires which we share: We all want to be happy, healthy and surrounded by the people we love!

I’m thankful for every single post I’ve read. And I  deeply  admire everybody who had ever shared his story.

♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥

If I have to be sincere until today I’ve never heard before anything about Bret Michaels. Of course I’ve heard the band Poison. I’ve listen hundred times songs like “Sweet Home Alabama” and “Every rose has its thorn”.  But I didn’t know that the lead singer of the band is Bret Michaels. Also didn’t know he was diabetic. Reading Kevin Lang’s blog I’ve found the interview from Piers Morgan Tonight where Bret discusses growing up with type 1 diabetes and learning of his daughter’s diagnosis.

It touched me so deep. I’ve always thought if it is possible to have kids if you are type 1 diabetic. And how would you feel if someday they would also be diabetics. And it scares me so much. I would do anything for this not to happen!!!  And thank you, Bret Michaels, for  raising money for diabetes research. I hope your both daughters will be healthy, happy and living without having diabetes!

Have you ever thought how would an insulin pump look like in the future? Have you ever wanted to have a pump with a nice stylish design shape? I’ve experienced when somebody sees an insulin pump and he doesn’t know what it is he thinks that it is a pager or an mp3 player. Today I’ve occasionaly found the  bachelor work of Jiri Bukvald, an industrial and product designer from the Czech Republic. In my opinion his work is very stylish and elegant. Although if I could change the color perhaps I would change it to white or black. But I would e more than happy to wear one of these.

I find it very nice and hope that soon I could get something like that!

For more details check it out here:

It has been a lazy lazy sunday. I’ve spent the whole day at home laying on my bed, surfing through the web and reading some gossip. Isn’t it wonderful??? I would go for a run if it wasn’t raining. I really need some fresh air. My room is so shadowy. I have a view to the back yard – a concrete area with no sun. I hope that in summer, when the temperatures normally go above 30 degrees, it will be a very nice cool place to hide from the heat. But now… I have to switch on the heating – otherwise I’ll get cold feed and hands.

I’m also happy about my readings. Today I’ve had so far no values above 130! I hope it would stay that way. Although it would take some time to stablize that blood sugar, I’m sure I’m doing the right thing. I’ve been eating very less carbohydrates and will keep doing it until my blood glucose stays in the normal range and I lose that weight off. There are 53 days till my birthday. I wish I could wear one very pretty dress. I’ve worn it only two times. So I hope there would be a third, forth..or maybe even fifth time???..:)))

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So..I’m really tired now..the whole week has been horrible. I’ve had a workshop for 4 days from 9 a.m. till 9 p.m.  I really need a good sleep. But there so much to do…stuff that’s waiting for me! Projects, presentations ….

But what I’m really happy about is that I’ve started a low carb diet.  There is a slight improvement in my blood sugar.  My readings are still not good, but much better and much more stable. I have no need for something sweet, my food cravings are so much less than before. I’ve tested positive for ketones, which means that my body uses fat instead of carbs for energy. I can not tell that I’ve lost weight, but I know I have to be much more patient. It will come…

I’ve read that when you go on a low carb diet, you have to take care of your protein insulin ratio. Dr. Bernstein suggests that for 300g of protein you have to inject 2 IE of insulin. I do not know if it will work for me, but I believe only if I test more accurately I could tell. The first thing I should do is to start again to write my blood sugar journal. It helps so much to control your food cravings, your insulin adjustments. Since I’ve been using insulin pump I’ve become so lazy about journaling my readings. It’s because you can upload all the data and read it via CareLink. It’s really easy.  But it’s not the same as if you have written everything down yourself. The second thing I would like to do is to read Dr. Bernstein’s book again. I’ve read it once, and I believe there are many interesting things which could be very helpful. It seems a bit extreme though to go so low carb. 30g of carbs (6-12-12) perhaps works for him, but I can not imagine staying on that amount for a long time.

But if this is the key for staying healthy and keeping your blood glucose under control, then this has to be done.

So… be healthy and happy!

♥♥♥♥♥

In 61 one days I’m going to celebrate my 25th birthday.  I have two wishes. The first one is to have a small celebration together with my boyfriend, my brother and his girlfriend. The second wish is to fit again in my awsome grey pants.

I know there is so less time for it, because there are only 8 weeks. I have really some work to do.  But I have to do it. There’s no other way! I’ve never felt so bad in my own body before. I believe I’ve reached the point, where it is absolutely necessery to do something! I find it very helpful to write everything down. To share my own thoughts, difficulties and moods. Like a confession. And at the end of the day and maybe after some time to read again what was it that bothered me and if I managed to deal with it. Let’s cross fingers and think: “Yes”.

♥♥♥♥♥

After some years with diabetes, listening always to what doctors say, I’ve decided to do what my body says. I think that the most important thing is to find the way that works best for you. And since I’ve had no success with the conventional therapy, I’ve decided to go with a low carb eating style. I’ve read some opinions and some very interesting posts about the life of a diabetic following a low carb diet. And many of them say that it’s worked  for them, helping control their glucose levels and reduce the insulin intake.

I do not know how this would affect my condition. I hope it would work for me also.

♥♥♥♥♥

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